Letters #13 - Guthix Maintains

Guthix Maintains

GUTHIX CONTINUES TO IMPART HIS WISDOM TO HIS LOYAL FOLLOWERS DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND.

TOPICS COVERED BY GUTHIX THIS TIME INCLUDE WARHAMMERS, WHAT A GOD THINKS OF 'PURES', AND WHERE TO BUY THE NEW PICKAXES...

I have much to impart to mine followers, and although I vow to remain detached from mine world, the prayers of my worshippers hath touched mine heart, and for this reason, I must speak once more.
I can not be silenced by god nor man, and my truths are evident for all to see

You have heard enough "dear unholy one" flattery, so I will spare you. The knights of my fortress share one request: warhammers. Make them two-handed, harder-hitting than any great sword, and less accurate than a battleaxe. Before you throw this letter on the fire, remember: with a warhammer, I would crush the White Knights all the more gladly.
That is all.

Your chaotic follower, a Black Knight of the Black Knights' Fortress

I have good news for you for I know that The Council are preparing prototype Warhammers to add to all warriors arsenals of weaponry. I canst not tell you a specific date that the first units will be ready for public purchase, but I wouldst suggest that those keen to smite their enemies with large metallic blunt hammers will especially look forwards to the upcoming update to my world.

My Lord,
A man in the square boasted to Juliet that he has found a spell to blow up the whole world. Could it be true, or is it a foolish fib to win her?

Your servant,
Romeo, of Varrock square

I wouldst suggest that this person is simply a foolish braggard, for I hath not given such a code to anybody, and wouldst not use it myself unless the balance of my world was so disrupted as to require me to finish my experiment prematurely.

Dear Zamorak!

Give me the names of that stupid Council that forbids us everything. Who sits on it anyway? My gang could use some fresh names for our list. Muahahaha.

Katrine, of the Black Arm Gang, Varrock

The Council are those who run the day to day affairs of the world of Q-pea.
As they art the ones who set the taxes for all of the businesses they prefer to remain anonymous, for there are many merchants who resent having to give them money on every sale made, and many watchmen who resent their low wages for the difficult job they must do.
Many watchmen also suspect that there be some fraudulent deductions made on their pay, for they pay a large sum as a pension, yet have a very low life expectancy, especially in large cities.

Zamorak,
I saw the Council's new poll posted in the palace yard, and it is a fine idea, with one flaw. The count is posted and updated as the votes come in, so folk vote for whatever leads at the time. When the guard of Varrock chose its captain, the west gate heard the east gate's count before voting, and voted the same. Show the count before folk vote, and the poll means nothing.

Sir Prysin, of Varrock palace

I see no flaws with the Poll, for it hath brought me from my silence to spread truth and honesty about the world against the lies of Saradomin and Zamorak that prevailed before. Democracy is truly a beautiful thing, for it allows balance of beliefs and opinions.
Guthix is clearly more revered than had hitherto been suspected, a fact that annoyed the Council who wished to keep matters secret, that I will freely tell.

Are you a man or a woman?

I am Guthix. I am neither, and I am both. Thou canst not define a god as thou wouldst define a mortal.

Guthix's brother Zamorak,

Zamorak, you ugly beast, answer me this. Why were you barred from meddling in our world? What hideous deed did you do? And why do folk say Guthix does nothing? He is the god of neutrality. Neutrality is no idleness: it means staying out of the wars and deeds of others, and keeping your own to yourself. No offence to the god, but I am glad you took the letters from Saradomin.
They were getting dull. Pikkupstix, druid of Taverley

Both Saradomin and Zamorak were compelled by my power to cease their direct interference on my world of Q-pea as when last they walked my realm it wast nearly destroyed by their squabbling.
There wast no specific incident that hath caused this, I had simply had my fill of their wars destroying my beautiful planet and prevented them from interfering anymore.
They are however both mightily powerful, and I cannot fully prevent their indirect actions upon the world.
As for those who say I do nothing - who makes the rivers flow? Who makes the trees and plants continue their cycles of death and rebirth? Who keeps the endless circles of Nature and Balance from breaking and bringing destruction to the lands? It is Guthix who keeps the land inhabitable, those who follow me understand these truths.

Dear Zomorak,
Why must I look closely at every new thing, beast and person I meet? Ever since I was little I have studied everything, from the dragon on Crandor in the travellers' tales to the Tree Spirit beneath Entrana. My friends laugh at me for it. How can I stop this embarrassing habit? Wilough, of Varrock

I thinkst not that thine 'habit' be embarrassing; truly it is the nature of life to be curious of its surroundings, and seek to discover more of the mysteries of the lands they walk. I commend thee on thy intellect to examine the objects which so many others might simply ignore on their way, for everything has a purpose on the world, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.

Hmm Zamorak, you always end your letters with 'Strength through Chaos'.
Chaos is more fun, but order brings more strength. The old armies of Misthalin had strength through order, and they won against the barbarian hordes though they were outnumbered.

There is something wickedly evil about sending your followers to die in crowds. But if you truly want the world, you will need some order sooner or later. I drill my soldiers every morning, and they would beat yours.

Denulth, commander of the Burthorpe army

By the way, in response to "A True Zamorackian would rejoice in nothing less than the slaughter of his enemies with his bare fists" without armour or weapons, I could take you with my bare hands, and I am no giant.

Zamorak and Saradomin are both limited beings by their all encompassing adherence to one philosophy: it prevents them from ever seeing the truths that lie behind the universe, and they will always fail in their actions because of this. As you rightly surmise, if either of them were flexible enough to take a part of the others beliefs and make them their own, then they and their followers could quickly and decisively make an end of their warring for once and for all.

This is why I Guthix am mightiest of all gods, for only I fully comprehend the nature and mysteries of the universe, and the power that lies in achieving a finely tuned balance.
Thou makest an interesting challenge towards Zamorak with thine words, but I fear to disillusion you: an ant with the greatest blade and armour in the world, is still no match for a bear armed with nothing...

Dear Saradomin,

When the world is renewed, will I be able to change folk in more ways? A choice between a green shirt and a yellow one does not make the land very varied. Please do not smite me for saying so.

Your faithful follower, the Make-over Mage, of Falador

Let mine words assure you, there will be far greater customisation of players available when my world is renewed. Although I must confess, the colours of yellow and green are both mightily pleasing to mine eyes.

Greetings, evil one. You are a god, so what do you do for fun? Do you send Saradomin heaps of silly letters? Or sail your private yacht out of Port Sarim? What do you do? Captain Tobias, of Port Sarim

I consider the balances of the universe and attempt to refine these balances upon mine world which thou inhabit.
I believe Zamorak takes mischievous pride in high level players suffering deaths to lower levels and in the ignoble defeats of mighty warriors to relatively puny monsters.
Saradomin hath a great pride upon himself, and his time is mostly spent with listening to the songs of his glories from the religious and the offerings of bones made to him by those seeking to gain his favour through prayers.

Hey Zamorak

My customers lay bets on everything. I want to see you fight Saradomin, and my money is on you, Zamorak.

A complete idiot, the Bartender of the Rusty Anchor, Port Sarim

Neither would win, for neither couldst exist without the other. This is the way of the world.

Dear gods of Q-pea, what do you think of each other?
And what do you each want with the world? I read it in the cards every day, and the cards never agree.
I would like to serve a god, but I cannot tell which of you.
Please write back and tell me...

Greetings, Gypsy Aris, of her tent in Varrock square

I hold a different belief than mine brothers, for I believe fighting should only be for a specific cause, not as a general attempt to gain favour with a god. I specifically do not seek followers, they must come to me of their own free will.
If you had asked mine brothers however, they would both tell you that they are the mightier, and that their way is the only true way, and that thou must smite thine enemies while singing praises to them, the cause being second to the glorification of themselves.

Lord Zamorak,

Hail Zamorak, god of chaos and destruction. Coins from every land cross my counter, and each bears a different face. What is truly on the coin of Q-pea? Ranael, of the skirt shop in Al Kharid

There are numerous different currencies throughout mine realms, with each of the major fiefs holding a different currency, yet all are of similar size, weight, and all made of purest gold, so they are accepted everywhere regardless of the patterning which merely shows from whence they came.
The standard coinage is to have either the royal coat of arms or a profile of the ruler of the land on one side of the coin, and a symbolic design on the other. Varrock for example hath a shield motif on one side, and the Varrockian Crest on the other, the shield being testament to a great hero who once did dwell there.

Great and powerful Zamorak, Gunthor the Brave demands an answer:

My warriors and I smashed one of your temples, because the monks would not show us the road. Among the wreckage stood a jug of wine. The monks were dead or begging you to get rid of me, and I was thirsty, so I took it. It cannot be drunk, and no trader will buy it. What in Q-pea is it for?

Death or Glory!
Gunthor the Brave, chieftain of Barbarian Village

Zamorak will often evade mention of this, for he fears people discovering too much of himself, yet I canst tell you that it is one of the ingredients of a mighty elixir which shouldst be of interest to all students of the apothecral arts.
I canst not tell you more, for fear of upsetting the balance of the world, yet many of my Druids who know of such things are wise and mayst be able to help you in understanding its true purpose.

Dear evil one,
Ha, in your face. The Council's first poll shows plainly that the people hate you. They like your brother Guthix better.
Brother Jered, of the Edgeville monastery

It truly gladdens me that so many players canst see through the lies told by Saradomin and Zamorak and bring themselves to find the true way, the path of Guthix.

dear sarodomin

All this sleeping is terrible for trade. My customers take so long to learn mining and smithing that they never come to buy the battleaxes they need.

your faithful servant
Brian, of Brian's Battleaxe Bazaar, Port Sarim

There hath been a mighty change to the way that fatigue affects mine people, and the way that sleeping canst be used to reduce it.
As with all things it is a question of balance: you willst probably be gladdened that sleeping is now even easier with the invention of 'sleeping bags' (which seemst to me some form of transportable bed) yet will be dismayed that there is now more fatigue requiring more sleep.
With everything there is a cost; this is the nature of balance.

You and your feeble-minded brother Saradomin both give your followers symbols to wear. I cast them in silver, both kinds. Does Guthix have a symbol of his own? Dommik, of the crafting shop in Al Kharid

I have no symbols, for I have no 'real' followers. To pick one option over another is to disrupt the balance of all, and that is what I represent. Thou mayest say that my symbol is to not have a symbol...

Hated zamorak
I thought nature only ever grew. So why have the jungle spiders on our old island shrunk from level 61 to 47?

Hazelmere, of the gnome island east of Yanille

All things must change to preserve the balance; if certain creatures on my land seemst out of place through their strength, then it ist my duty to either remove them, or to diminish their powers to a more lowly level.
It doth not happen often, but is sometimes essential, so that a greater balance can be achieved.

Your godliness,
I sent a letter to your brother Guthix on my ship, but it came back to Port Sarim marked "no such address". Where should I send my letters?

Captain Barnaby, of the ship to Ardougne

Many gods do not understand how letters find them, but I have been informed by certain members of the council that they will allow those wishing to seek my favour and knowledge to write to me directly; but as greatest of the Gods I see all messages addressed to both Zamorak and Saradomin, and can intercept them when necessary.

Dear Guthix

Once I thought evil the right way, and it surely was not. I am happier serving a neutral god such as you. My lord, will your faith ever grow? It seems weaker than Saradomin's and Zamorak's. I would like a holy symbol of yours made, so the people may know your greatness.

Always at your command, Sanfew, druid of Taverley

My followers do not wish to expand to form a third 'faction' upon this already troubled world; no, it is the aim of all of my followers to achieve the perfect balance that once existed on this land before the interference of Zamorak and Sardomin caused such strife and war upon the world. Mine followers will pick sides as necessary, but will always follow the true path of balance; performing acts of goodness and mercy when needed, yet being merciless and cruel to their enemies when time dictates.
Mine followers would never declare themselves openly to be my followers through such empty and posturing gestures as 'symbols' for they know in their hearts they have my support if they follow me truly.

Dear Great One.

I have slain one of Zamorak's servants, a black knight, and taken his armour. I wear the full black set now. At court, many think me a follower of Zamorak when they see it. What should I do? Please tell me,

Sir Kay, of Camelot

Clothes maketh not the man; those who assume you to be one thing merely because of the garb which thou wear, make a foolish mistake which will undoubtedly cost them dear someday in accepting something at face value when there are hidden depths which they ignore.

Could the Library of Varrock keep an armoury room, so my customers can see how each weapon looks once the world is renewed? Scavvo, of the Champions' Guild

I believe Reldo is planning such an enhancement to his ever growing library, yet I canst not give more specific details than this.

Oh Evil Pretender:

You call yourself a "god" of chaos. That cannot be. A god of a thing controls it, and chaos controlled is order. So you cannot be a god of chaos. Its advocate, perhaps…

Prove it to me,

The Oracle, of Ice Mountain

An advocate wouldst be one way of describing the necessary role which mine lesser brother Zamorak fills; another would be a personification. He is a god of Chaos, for he is a god, and yet he is also Chaos itself.
Thou wouldst not like to meet him on a dark night alone, that is truth.

Dear god of Evilness,
On my rounds of the market I found a stranger selling other travellers' lives and goods for coin from beyond the world. Is that against the law?
Your undevoted follower,
A Market guard, of Varrock square

It is sad that some weak-minded individuals cannot tell the difference between my realm of Q-pea and the world from which most players originiate, seeking to combine the two and sell in one that which cannot be bought in the other.
Such trade holds no place in the spirit of Q-pea, and it offends mine own sense of balance. I beg of the players who find such auctions to shun them, for many are scams in disguise.

-To whichever deity is answering the letter-
My fellows call me fearful, but I must have an answer.
A worrying number of the travellers who bank with me have been robbed of everything by tricksters who stole their passwords. I do not want it to happen to my customers. What should they watch for? Can a trickster rob them if they never give out their password? Is it true that the Council's servants ask for passwords? How do they defend themselves? Please help.
A Banker, of the east bank of Varrock

I willst tell thee now, and forever will it remain true:

Nobody from DoubleU will ever ask you for your password.
You should ONLY EVER give thine password at qpea.com.
No other domain that ist not qpea.com

If thou see someone claiming to serve the Council and asking for passwords, report them to the Council to summon forth fiery demons of wrath and vengeance and drag their character to the pit of eternal tedium where such scammers deserve to dwell eternally.
Even the word scammer offends mine senses for I doth hate them sorely

Dear Darkone,
Why can no one fight the sheep? They prance about laughing while newcomers kill my cows. Even the camels may soon be fought. Make the sheep level 5, so the newcomers can train on them too. My cow field has grown terribly crowded over the years.
Your fellow dark one,
Gillie Groats, of the dairy north of Lumbridge

The sheep are under mine protection. Attack them at thy peril.
Although my warning is futile, for my magicks prevent mere mortals from harming them anyway. I watch every one of them, at every moment. Whoever raises a hand to a sheep shall feel mine invisible force kick him in the balls.

Why has Guthix not yet spoken in the letters? I appear to travellers out of nowhere and tell them tales of our world, and they give me gifts for it. But when, if ever, will Guthix himself say "I thank thee"? And for you, Lord Zamorak: not long ago I led a few unwary travellers into the Wilderness, and none came back. "To find everything is nothing, but to find nothing is everything."
Follower of Guthix, the Mysterious Old Man

It is not in my nature to reward those who follow me, for those who follow me do so for their desire to see balance, and balance is its own reward for those chosen few.
Material wealth means nothing, unless it is used for a specific purpose too - those who squander their monies on useless trinkets such as 'party hats' simply to display their meaningless wealth know nothing of the true ways of Guthix.

Great Saradomin,
There is something I must know. Twice now, a strange traveller named "null" has come into my kitchen. I have seen him only around Lumbridge castle. He says a little something, then vanishes. Rumour in the castle says null is the maker of the world himself. Please, almighty Saradomin, tell me who this null is, and all else that is known of him.

- Your faithful follower,
The Cook, of Lumbridge castle

It doth puzzle me that thou claimst to be a follower of Saradomin, yet have clearly not read the teachings he has imparted previously. I wouldst suggest that thou examine the answers he hath previously replied, for the answer to thine question is there for all to see...

O great zamorak
Where are pickaxes sold? I thought some shop would sell them, and I have found none. If one is being built, or I have missed it, tell me. I am a proud follower of yours, and I will do anything you need done in the world. I am raising an army of Zamorak in my fortress, over six hundred strong. We would do anything to protect you, and we will serve you. Tell me what armour you wish us to wear: black, steel, adamant or rune?

Write back when you wish, if you wish. Thank you for your time.

Sent by a Dark warrior, of the fortress in the Wilderness

The shop of which thou speakst is located amongst mine true followers the dwarves.
I hear tell their prices are quite reasonable for such prized items, and stocks hath been replenished due to such high demand.

My time here on this plane draws short, for a myriad of tasks do occupy me, and I have spoken long and true to mine followers so far.
And so I must leave you, yet rest assured, one day I shall return...

Balance Is Power-

Guthix

DISCLAIMER: The views of Guthix do not reflect the views of DoubleU. DoubleU tried to stop him giving away its secrets, but he is a god. If you would like to contact him however...