Letters #26 - Saradomin Preaches

Saradomin Preaches

SARADOMIN, NOBLE DEITY OF ORDER, RETURNS TO IMBUE WISDOM UPON HIS FOLLOWERS.
TOPICS OF NOTE IN THIS EDITION OF THE LETTERS INCLUDE: THE DIFFERENCE IN BOWS, THE LEVELS OF ENEMIES, THE WEIGHT OF ARMOURS, AND THE FATE OF HOLIDAY ITEMS.
READ ON TO FIND OUT MORE...

Greetings once again, esteemed disciples of order! I have been very busy recently, ensuring that peace is kept throughout my lands after some recent attempts by the foul Zamorak to outdo me, but let me assure you all that I am in the peak of health, and no matter how busy I might get I can always spare the time to share my wisdom with the curious! With this in mind, let us explore what knowledge my followers desire of me in this edition of the letters...

Dear Saradomin,
My customers ask me every day what shortbows, longbows and crossbows each do best, and the Library's manual of skills does not say. Maybe I missed it. If you could tell me where to find the differences, I would be grateful. Thank you for your time.

A confused archer,
Lowe, of Lowe's Archery Emporium, Varrock

Allow the wisdom of Saradomin to illuminate your ranging life; each weapon has it's own seperate advantage depending on the purpose for which you wish to use it.
Those concerned with a speedy attack would be well advised to make use of the shortbow, those seeking long distance in their attacks should claim the longbow as their own, with its unparalleled reach of damage, and those wishing to offer themselves more protection than a ranger can usually afford will admire the one handed use of the crossbow, for it allows them the additonal benefit of wearing a shield while fighting, and advantage that bows cannot offer.

Many dragon slayers swear by the use of the crossbow in their hunting, for it allows them to wield the mighty anti-dragonbreath shield to withstand the flames of the dragon, even at close range.

Dear Saradomin

As a professional, I must ask: how do you get your bald head so shiny? Do you use wax, or some other mortal product? The light really shines off it. Can Zamorak and Guthix see their faces in its shiny goodness?

From
The Hairdresser, of Falador

Ah... I suspect you are mocking me for my lack of hirsuteness, but the glow that mortals often feel when gazing upon my glorious visage is none other than the glory of my wisdom, which shines upon me like a summers day.
I would also like to point out that in many cultures a balding head such as my own is recognised as both a symbol of wisdom and virility, both of which being attributes I have blessed myself with.

I know of nobody who made a good living by being "nice" and "kind", unless you count a few handouts. Robbing travellers is the only fast and smart way to profit. There are more killers than workers, so why can't you see that Zammy is truly superior? If you believe in peace and wisdom, why does your spell destroy people with lightning? You are not fit to be a god... If you and your better half (Zammy) joined forces, you could spread chaos across the land and the Wilderness as far as the eye can see. You could overthrow that flying bobble-head and be truly great. If not, why not come down and finish each other off to prove who is superior? You could even charge folk to watch the clash.

Take the idea to heart,
Lady Keli, of the bandit camp near Draynor

Oh, the sad mercenary wiles of the Zamorakians never fail to cause me dismay...
Those who follow my cause do so for they know the wisdom of bringing peace and prosperity to this land! As the saying goes, a good deed is its own reward, and those who choose to sacrifice their own personal wealth for the benefit of the greater good may not achieve much in the way of material wealth, but they will more than make up for this in the esteem with which they will be held, and the friends which they will make.

Compare this to the way of the Zamorakian; yes, they may have wealth through their ill gotten gains, and murders in the wilderness, yet they live a life of hardship and mistrust. Who can they really trust? Other Zamorakians, just waiting for their opportunity to relieve them of their riches for themselves?
Travel with honour and mercy, and you will walk tall indeed.

Not so dear Saradomin,

Your constant lies about your role in Q-pea bother me greatly. In your last letters you said "although I did not create the world, it is my creation nonetheless". Come on, Saradomin. Even I, a devoted monk of lord Zamorak, know that Guthix used his immense power to shape our world. You pull the wool over your followers' eyes, and hide your power-greedy nature behind kindness. We are not stupid, Saradomin... soon even your followers will see your true goal, rising to great power on webs of lies. I know my lord Zamorak is a questionable fellow, but at least I can trust him not to lie to me.

Power through Chaos (and truth),
A Monk of Zamorak, of the chapel south of Varrock

Ah... but have you questioned whatever motives Guthix himself might have, to slander me so outrageously? Would you give him the credit for the peace that mostly reigns upon this world for his contribution of sleep?
I call this world my creation, for the value system of honour, and courage, and mercy, and wisdom are attributes that I brought to this once barbaric land! It is true, I did not physically create the raw material of this world, but I have shaped and sculpted it into the glorious land that it is today!

When a smith forges a blade, is that not their creation, even though they did not create the ores which they used in doing so? I am the smith, and you are all my ores...
I will smelt you in the furnace of purity, and strengthen your souls on the anvils of honour, so that you may serve me as my weapons against the evil that strives to destroy this land.

Dear butt-head (Saradomin)

I am a proud Zamorakian and will crush your holiness, but Zamorak does not have much wisdom, so I ask you...

1) I want to buy some armour, but my mum won't pay for it. Any ideas for getting the money, monkey-boy?

2) Does Guthix want a certain amount of imbalance to balance out his balance? Or is he just another god of an element, raised up by wrong thinking and treachery? (Which, by the way, might win him quite a few Zamorakian warriors.)

3) Do you really chew bananas in your sleep and stuff jam in your pillow for comfort? (Just a silly rumour that is actually quite hilarious.)

4) Are they true, the rumours of an all-out war on another continent of Q-pea?

your deathbringer,
Wilough, of Varrock

I laugh as even Zamoraks followers recognise him for the oafish fool he really is! All who dwell here know of the wisdom of Saradomin!
As for your questions, strange as they are;

1) I suggest you embark on a quest, for as all adventurers know, a solid quest can often result in some small degree of wealth.
Suggestions that spring to mind include the 'cart-washing' quest, or the 'extra-chores' quest; speak to the keepers of the treasure, and see if there is some small quest you may undertake for them in return for a little financial reward.

2) The ever-boastful Guthix has strange desires indeed, and I must confess, his philosophies are something of a mystery to myself.
He often claims to be working towards some 'greater good', yet he allowed (and even encourages!) great evils to be permitted in his name! I suggest you ignore whatever he tells you and listen only to my wisdom instead.

3) I have no time to sleep, I am a busy deity! As such I have no pillows, but I do indeed enjoy bananas, fresh from Karamja.

4) I take little interest in the pagan lands that do not recognise my glory, but judging from the deities they choose to worship it would surprise me little if they are embarked in some foolish war or other.
I know traders are constantly trying to reopen the closed trade routes between the various continents, but I suspect they will meet with some resistance.

Honorable Saradomin, Guthix, or Zamorak (Whoever happens to answer this letter)

My knights have noticed for some time that the levels of many monsters have changed. For example, black knights were level 46 in the old world, and are level 31 since the Deepening. Why is this? Are levels counted differently now? Is the world being made easier for weaker knights?

Thanks,
Sir Amik Varze, of the White Knights' castle, Falador

Many of the foul Zamoraks creatures hid their true powers before, or showed a level that did not match their true abilities; since the world has been renewed however,they now more accurately reflect their abilities.
Some creatures are not as powerful as they once appeared, and yet others who were stronger than their level implied have gained a few levels since this update. You may notice that the same holds true for certain players as well.

Dear Saradomin,

As a curious follower of yours, I would like to grow in wisdom, and I believe you can help me. You have heard of the gnome pilot who flies the glider from the Grand Tree? When he asks where you want to go, he shows a map with pictures, and words beside each picture. What language are they in? Not the common tongue, surely. Are they gnomish? I have every language in my Library but that one. I hope you can extend my wisdom and answer this question.

Reldo, of the Library of Varrock

As I understand it, the gnomes speak their own tongue, yet are also fluent in the common language used by humans within the world, allowing communication to be made between the races.

O great Saradomin,

My ship needs mending, and I know planks lie in the Graveyard of Shadows in the Wilderness. Can they be found anywhere else, somewhere a sailor might live to come back from?

Your loyal follower,

Captain Tobias, of Port Sarim

Planks are a strange thing to search for indeed, but allow me to reveal to you that you may find planks lying around carelessly to the north of the Barbarian outpost, and may also find them for sale in a shop located in Mort'ton.
The Wilderness is still the preferred location of many players to source their building supplies, however.

Oh mighty and powerful Saradomin,

One question has been troubling me lately: the holiday gifts. Rumour has it there will be no more gifts falling across the land on holidays. If so, why? Yet my sources inside the Council say there will be one. Please help me and answer this question. My party room depends on it.

Party Pete, of the Party Room, Falador

Although I usually pay no mind to the fickle gossip of rumour-mongers, in this case you have heard correctly, the appearance of random items across the lands on certain holidays is indeed a thing of history.
This is not to say that the council have not put other plans into effect for future holidays...

Dear oh-so-great and spectacularly wise Saradomin,

It is I, your humble servant, who needs some help. I humbly ask an answer to an important question, for a little problem of logic in this mortal realm has me stumped.

I have worked the fine craft of metal all my life, and I have noticed an anomaly I fail to understand.

Why, oh why does full chestplate armor weigh more than the 5 standard-sized metal bars that are required to fashion this spectacular defensive vest?
I have spent time thinking of why this should be, but unfortunately I have failed to find any reasoning, despite my flawless logical thinking. Could you divine the answer to this puzzling issue? Or perhaps this is a more fitting question for Lord Guthix or Zamorak?

Signed,
Wayne, of Wayne's Chains, Falador

When heated, the armour takes on a degree of the impurities in the air (and in the furnace itself - you would be surprised at how much detritus a furnace in a busy modern city may accumulate over the years!) and gains a degree of weight in the process of converting it into a usable weapon.

Lord Saradomin,

As you declared to us in your last letter,

"Oftentimes change comes slow, but when the more adventurous members of the Council gain enough power to reopen the trade and shipping routes against the wishes of their more conservative brethren then these lands will once more be visitable by players, along with new trials and tribulations to overcome. "

One might gather from this that long-forgotten lands were once open to us. How were they shut, lost beyond recall? Reldo has said nothing of these lands, and my monks find no word of them in our books. Did the Wilderness War cause this sundering? There are few records of that war, only the scorched ruins in the north. I beg you, Lord Saradomin, tell us more of the long-ago Wilderness War, and of what has become of the other peoples of the world.

Your servant,

Brother Omad, of the Ardougne monastery

The loss of such lands is a more recent event than the god wars, for there was a political dispute amongst the ruling houses some 30 years past, where such barriers were erected. Most of the causes have now been forgotten, if not forgiven, of the insults to the great houses, and as such the routes are now slowly being restored, but the healing process of mortals can be a slow one...

And so with my duties to my loyal fans fulfilled, I shall leave you once more, to ponder on the wisdoms I have shared. But take heart, for I shall return very soon, and bring more illumination to you all with my presence!
Always remember to walk the path of honour, and to show wisdom in all of your actions; in this way you will carry my light in your hearts, and find the peace of order in my glory!
Until next time...

Strength through wisdom,

Saradomin

DISCLAIMER: The views of Saradomin do not reflect the views of DoubleU. DoubleU tried to stop him saying anything controversial, but he is a god. If you would like to contact him however...