Letters #33 - Saradomin Remembers

Saradomin Remembers

As the year closes, the god of wisdom remembers a fallen legend, praises a living one, turns down a new craft and hears from a very frightened cow.

Greetings, my faithful followers. Winter is a time to look back, and this year has given us much to remember. Some of it is sad. Some of it is cows.

Saradomin, a statue now stands in the Wilderness, in Zamorak's own land, of a traveller called The Old Nite. My guards say he walked the world since its first day. Why does a statue stand where no law reaches, and who keeps the bandits from tearing it down?

Captain Rovin, of the Varrock palace guard

The Old Nite came through the light on the first day and never left. He mastered every craft of the world, the second ever to do so. He was always second, and he never minded. Then he died, as even legends do.

His friends raised the statue in the Wilderness, because that is where he loved to walk. The bandits leave it alone. Even Zamorak's people know a hero when they see one in stone. I am told my brother visits it, when he thinks nobody is looking.

Holy Saradomin, a traveller called Zezima stands by the west bank every day. The crowd follows him wherever he goes. My customers say he was the first to master every art. Is he a hero, or only very busy?

Thessalia, of Thessalia's Fine Clothes, Varrock

Both. Zezima is the greatest of all the travellers, and has been for years. He was the first master of Slaying and the first to reach the top of every art at once. He is also the busiest soul I know.

Sell him a scarf. He never seems to go home, and the bank is drafty in winter.

Saradomin, the travellers talk of a new craft: hunting, with traps and snares in the forests. Each pelt they bring me would keep my tannery busy for a week. When will hunting come to the world?

Ellis, tanner of Al Kharid

It will not. The creatures of the forests are not ready to be caught in boxes, and I am not ready to listen to the complaints when they are.

The world has room for many crafts, and some are better left as talk in taverns. Keep tanning the cowhides. There are plenty, as the next letter shows.

Moo. There is a traveller who kills only us. Not goblins. Not chickens. Only cows. He hates us. Moo. Why.

A Cow, of the field east of Lumbridge

His name is Cow1337killr, and he does hate cows. Nobody knows why, including him. I have asked.

Stay close to the farmhouse, little cow, and keep away from strangers with swords. And please stop writing to me. Nobody knows how you hold the quill either.

Shilop, a child of Varrock, asks: "Will Paul float past at the winter feast and drop presents?"
Paul floats where Paul floats, like some sort of all-powerful jellyfish. Be good, and stand under the sky.

May your winter be warm and your bank be full.

Strength through wisdom,

Saradomin

DISCLAIMER: The views of Saradomin do not reflect the views of DoubleU. DoubleU tried to stop him saying anything controversial, but he is a god.