Letters #4 - The All-powerful Jellyfish

Saradomin Responds.

Five Ages after creating the world of Q-pea, the great god Saradomin now regularly communicates with the inhabitants of this fast evolving planet. An agreement with his brothers prohibits him from directly intervening into Q-pea's affairs, but in his great omniscience he still listens to the prayers of those who seek his knowledge.

Please Saradomin hear my call.

All-seeing Saradomin, this whole world runs on runes, and yet a mage who has studied for a lifetime falls to the brutes the outlanders call pures. My strongest spell barely scratches them. I hear whispers of a guild for mages, with new runes inside. Weaker spells will not save us from the pures. Only stronger runes will. From Wizard Mizgog, of the Wizards' Tower.

Oh, how so many of you young mages have begged for a magic guild. I was tempted to let you just conjure one up yourself, but then I thought better of it. So those adventurers who toil on a daily basis will know that a magic guild now exists in the town of Yanille. There you can buy a kind of rune that so-called "pures" could only dream about.

Dear Saradomin,

I have made rope in Draynor longer than most outlanders have been alive, and even I cannot remember the very beginning. The young ones ask me what the world was like when it was new. I tell them it was smaller. They want more than that. Will you tell us?

Ned, of Draynor Village

Ah, a historian I see. Well I almost don't know where to begin. Which is what I said at the time, in fact. But of course it all started with Lumbridge, and the good kingdom of Misthalin. But there was no Al Kharid or Draynor village, and Edgeville was pretty deserted, so people called it Ghost Town.

The world back then was a comparatively good place. People didn't tend to wander around Lumbridge calling each other "noob", because everybody was one. Black knights were the toughest monsters, of which there were three.

The top equipment you could get was adamantite legs, mithril body,adamantite large helmet, adamantite long sword, and iron kite shield. There were no amulets.

Adventurers could, however, sink their teeth into six different quests: the Cook's Assistant, the Restless Ghost, Demon Slayer, Shield of Cuepee, Romeo and Juliet and Sheep Shearer.

The main skills were combat, ranged, mining and smithing. Cooking consisted only of cooking meat and bread making. Of course, families have always been divided over the issue of vegetables, and this was literally the case now, with many a warrior dropping dead from scurvy.

Mourning partners were in time told that there were plenty more fish in the sea, but this was of little consolation, as no-one knew how to fish yet. There was also no crafting, and Lumbridge's traditional Sunday afternoon craft fairs were a bit of a let down as a result.

Saradomin,

My inn is too quiet. The outlanders drink in silence and stare at the walls. A world with no music in it is a sad world. Send us songs. And if you sent bards who could play a tune hard enough to knock a goblin over, I would hire three.

The Bartender of the Blue Moon Inn, Varrock

Music as an attack? It really would have to be offensively bad. But as for music in the game, that certainly will be coming. For some time now, a great man-minstrel by the name of Ian has been mincing away, to create great scores of majestic sounds that will one day delight your ears.

Mighty Saradomin,

On my patrols I see more and more outlanders in the robes of Zamorak, your wicked brother. My knights wear your colours on their armour, but the common folk have nothing. How is a loyal follower to show the world whose side they are on? Give your faithful robes of their own.

Your faithful knight, Sir Vyvin of Falador

Behold, such robes exist for all to see! Take yourself to the monastery and speak to the good Abbott Langley who works there. And if you are of sufficient prayer level he will endow you with this most stylish of artefacts. Just don't let him talk you into a haircut.
And for those of you who have asked about a "prayer guild", know that you can also pray at their special altar, and have your holy symbols blessed.

Guild indeed! What are you- god's representative on earth, or some lowly carpenter?

The outlanders sleep in the open and keep everything in the bank. Could they not have houses of their own? If so, please give the houses good locks. I know these outlanders.

Hetty, of Rimmington

Why, what are you planning to do in there? Nothing untoward I hope. Yes, houses will be added to Q-pea eventually, but don't start choosing the curtains just yet.

Iron should smelt every time, or at least half the time. Yesterday I put seventeen iron ores in my furnace and got four bars. I threw my hammer through the shop window. This time I blame the ore. Next time I may blame you.

Wayne, of Wayne's Chains, Falador

Frustrated, he seems. I can't wait until he attempts the Biohazard Quest.

Dear Wise One,

Twice I have seen a stranger who seemed to know this world better than any of us. He called himself Paul. The first time, he stood in robes in the little chapel south-west of Port Sarim, marrying two people. The second time, near the desert at Easter, he greeted me kindly and vanished, leaving behind a pile of Easter Eggs that my cart driver picked up before I could stop him. Who is this man, and why can I never find him again?

Wydin, of Wydin's Food Store, Port Sarim

Yes, the Paul that you speak of is a strange one indeed, who has been known to float around Q-pea like some sort of all-powerful jellyfish, squeezing out offerings at certain special times of year. Some of you have even wondered if there might be another deployment of goodies in the near future. I couldn't possibly comment on this of course...

Until next time my friends.

Strength through wisdom,

Saradomin